A need

I have the feeling that i need to cutting, but i'm trying so hard to do not take the razor and put on my wrist. I don't want to do it. But the voice in my head said to me i have to.

What's wrong with me?? I hate myself, my depression is back, my dark side is back. I'm so scared. What should i do? I need help, but no one does. No one notice me, no one cares about me.

The past is my enemy, my biggest and strongest enemy. My mind is a mess, my mind is killing me. I need to scream, i need to cut, i need to die. Why is this shit happen to me?? I destroy my life.

About Me

I'm 16 years old now, I'm a broken home child. and i've been suffered from my depression and cutting for about 3 years. So here i am, want to tell a little story about my life and i want an advice from you guys. Because i wanna get out from my sadness, i wanna change my life. I don't want to be invisible again, i don't want to being ignored again. I wanna live normal like the other. Happiness. That thing is never come into my life, i don't know why?? i wanna feel it again, i never feel it anymore since my parent's divorce. i just feel so fucking sad all the time, crying every night, cutting my wrist every i got a problem, being so cold, untouchable. I feel like shit, it's like i don't deserve to the happiness. sometimes i just wanna die, or maybe just being numb. i'd rather be like that than must feel like shit whole the time.